Admidst the mists and coldest frosts,
With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
He thrusts his fists against the posts,
And still insists he sees the ghosts.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
Blue glue gun, green glue gun.
Betty bought some butter,
but the butter Betty bought was bitter,
so Betty bought some better butter,
and the better butter Betty bought
was better than the bitter butter Betty bought before!
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...
Mallory's hourly salary.
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.
Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.
A flea and a fly in a flue,
were imprisoned. So what could they do?
Said the fly, ""Let us flee"".
Said the flea, ""Let us fly"".
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb.
A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb.
If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb,
How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?
Five fat friars frying flat fish.
The bottle of perfume that Willy sent
was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
that they quarreled, I'm told
o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent
Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.
Betty bought some bitter butter
and it made her batter bitter,
so Betty bought some better butter
to make her bitter batter better.
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
I'm not the fig plucker,
nor the fig pluckers' son,
but I'll pluck figs
Till the fig plucker comes.
Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts.
by Pierre Abbat
The sixth sheik's sixth sheep 's sick.
Sweater weather, leather weather.
One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.
The big black bug's blood ran blue.
I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's running late.
Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?
We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money.
by Ray Weisling
Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...
If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter.
Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
Ray Rag ran across a rough road.
Across a rough road Ray Rag ran.
Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?
A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
""Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?""
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.
Thin sticks, thick bricks
Red lorry, yellow lorry.
A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a wooodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all the wood
a woodchuck could chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.
Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.
A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.
How much sh*t can a sh*t slinger sling
If a sh*t slinger could sling sh*t?
He'd sling as much sh*t as a sh*t slinger could
If a sh*t slinger could sling sh*t!
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.