平时我们看一些政治、经济评论的文章就多了，现在我们来欣赏这样一篇关于情感的文章。我们慢慢地欣赏，最后我们要知道作者是怎样按照她祖母的话做的呢？"but many try to carry on with a relationship even when they know it"s wrong. So don"t just listen to your intuition - trust it." (来源：专业英语学习网站 http://www.EnglishCN.com)

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You"re in a good mood, single in the city and excited by the prospect of romance.

But when you"ve had as many tough break-ups with boyfriends as I have (four big ones in 10 years), what should your dating plan be?

Do you swear off anyone who has even the slightest whiff of being Mr. Wrong before you get involved?

Or do you launch yourself into a new relationship, put any and all doubts down to a fact of life - and suck it up a year later when it all implodes?

Problem is, if you opt for the former strategy, you end up seeming like you are obsessed only with finding "The One."

If you go for the latter, you risk wasting time, emotional energy and often months of misery with the wrong guy.

Sometimes I wish I could have been like my grandmother, who found her husband at age 16 and stayed happily married for 50 years.

This week, I got an e-mail from an unmarried 40-year- old guy who lives on the Lower East Side.

"You," he wrote, "like most women, clearly want to force your "happily ever after" desires on every guy you think you might want to get involved with.

"Instead of trying to find out if the next love interest you come across is "The One," why not just enjoy the relationship for what it is?"

It was almost as if he had heard me two nights before - when I was literally moaning to my married friends, who had offered to fix me up with a cute new guy.

"What"s he like?" I had asked, huffing. "Because I simply won"t get involved with anyone now unless it is perfect. I cannot take breaking up with someone again."

And I"m not the only one who has succumbed to this way of thinking.

I know a guy who has a list of no less than 30 characteristics that he"d like to see - or not see - in a girl he"s dating.

(Cat-lovers, women who carry large handbags and vegetarians are out.)

He argues that it"s easy to fool around with people who turn out to be incompatible - and that it"s ultimately a big waste of time.

Problem is, does this way of thinking mean you spend most of your time lonely?

Worse, does it stop you from giving something a chance that might, in time, turn out to be right?

I still don"t have the answer. But an unexpected encounter this week with - funnily enough - a clairvoyant wound up proving helpful. I met him in a TV studio (I was being interviewed about relationships for the Metro Channel"s "Naked New York" show).

He introduced himself as Dougall Fraser and although he was only in his mid-20s, he seemed to have a wise aura.

So, ever the opportunist, I asked him for some advice on my dilemma - just in case my dead granny was lurking around to pass on some words of wisdom.

"Women ask me all the time when they will find their "soul mate,"" he said. (Men, he added, usually ask when they are next going to get laid.)

"You can have several soul mates in your life, but it doesn"t mean you should be with [any of] them in the end," Dougall said. "What you need is for the two of you to be ready at the same time. You just haven"t been ready yet."

"But I"ve been through so many break-ups I can"t face getting it wrong again," I moaned.

Dougall looked at me with pity.

"If God gave you your time again, would you ask not to have gone out with any of those guys?" he asked.

"Erm, I guess not," I said, feeling suddenly fond of all my exes.

"Would you want to go out with someone who has never had a relationship, or who has never felt pain?" he continued.

"Erm, no," I replied.

"So don"t regret your break-ups," he advised. "See each as something that makes you a better, more complex, interesting person."

"Okaaaay," I said doubtfully. "But how do I stop it from happening again?"

"Most people know very quickly if someone is right for them," he said, "but many try to carry on with a relationship even when they know it"s wrong. So don"t just listen to your intuition - trust it."

It was exactly the kind of thing my granny would have said.