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    致命的大错

    "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." (来源:英语麦当劳-英语杂志 http://www.EnglishCN.com)

    "Qualifications: No education or experience."

    "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

    "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

    "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

    "Fired because I fought for lower pay."

    "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6’5" .

    " "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

    "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

    "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word ’paranoia.’ I prefer to elaborate privately."

    打字错误与语法错误

    "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

    "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

    "I am a rabid typist."

    "Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

    "After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line&nb sp;of work."

    "Accounting cleric."

    "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

    "Suspected to graduate early next year."

    "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

    "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

    "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

    "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

    "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

    不应有的幽默

    "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

    "Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

    "But wait...there’s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

    "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

    "My fortune cookie said, ’Your next interview will result in a job’-and I like your company in particular."

    "Title: Another resume from the ’Profiles in Excellence’ se ries."

    "Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

    "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

    "Let’s meet so you can ’ooh’ and ’ahh’ over my experience."

 
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